14 August 2005

For pleasure? or... ?

The Curt Jester had a great post, "Contraception as Bulimia." "Dr. Phillip Blosser from Musings of a Pertinacious Papist writes a must-read essay on contraception..."

I agree. It is must-read, and the link to Janet E. Smith's talk is definitely worth following. The quotes below are from her talk.

Young people today deserve to have a choice. Not just between pregnancy and abortion, but between truly living a full life, or following the pressure of the media to use their bodies in ways which are called "wrong" not because some stuffy somebody wants them to not have a good life, but because behaving that way can seriously impact their chances of a good life.

Couples who've abstained before marriage, have little or no problem with Natural Family Planning.... In fact, they think that abstinence is a way of expressing love. It's not this huge deprivation. The reason that they abstained before marriage was not because they weren't attracted to each other, not because the hormones weren't raging, but because they loved each other. They said, "I'm not going to have sex with you before marriage because I love you. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to have a stronger commitment than I've made here. I don't want to put us in danger of having a baby when we haven't really prepared for that baby. Marriage is preparation for those bonds and marriage is preparation for that baby. And I love you and I can wait. That's how much I love you." Within marriage, abstinence has that same aspect. "It's not a good idea for us to show our affection at this time. We know how to be loving to each other at this time because we've done it before." And they can do it.

I know what it's like to have this kind of relationship (though, unfortunately, not in marriage), and I can testify to its worth and staying power.

Women who use Natural Family Planning have an amazing sense of self-respect and well being. They think that their fertility is revered by their husbands, and they think that they've got themselves particularly good husbands. "I've got my husband who's particularly good. He's a wonderful man. He's got high moral standards. He doesn't treat me like a sex object. I can trust him. He likes me even when we're not having sex together. He's a great guy. I got myself a good one." And males have a great reverence for their wives, for their fertility. They don't want to damage her body. They don't want her to take all these pills and use these devices. They say, "No. I love her. I wouldn't put her through those risks. And this willingness to have a baby for me, that's a wonderful thing. What a woman puts herself through! And I am going to respect that." So, there is this deep bond between the two of them.

Boys and girls both deserve to know their options. They are wise enough to choose - and they have been lied to in the most despicable ways. Dawn Eden has taken up one aspect of this institutionalized misleading in her relentless exposure of Planned Parenthood's tactics.

I know from experience what can happen when young men don't have enough information. I also know what it's like to go through this:

I've seen lots of people actually just slide into marriage. This whole notion that by having sex before marriage you could make a better choice of a spouse — I think is absolutely erroneous. It seems to me that the sexual passion can obscure things rather than clarify things. You get used to the sexual relationship and it makes you ignore whether this person is selfish, or lazy, or egotistical — things that, another two years from now, might really bother you. Right now, because of the sexual relationship, you overlook these things.

God offers forgiveness, not do-overs.

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