The difference is, these days, young people in a certain demographic haven't got any guidance, beyond "use a condom." The very things they ought to be thinking about, really seriously, they are steered firmly away from.
The Anchoress has a thought-provoking post about the young these days and their issues with relationships. Via another blogger, Fausta, she finds this article, which ends,
I tried to remember that no one is my property and neither am I theirs, and so I should just enjoy the time we spend together, because in the end it’s our collected experiences that add up to a rich and fulfilling life. I tried to tell myself that I’m young, that this is the time to be casual, careless, lighthearted and fun; don’t ruin it.Contrast that with Sigmund, Carl and Alfred's stance:
Sexuality does indeed exist for the purpose of creating life, but that is not the only purpose of our sexual natures. In reality, it is with a spiritual context that the healthiest of sexual expressions and families are anchored. A family wherein spirituality and sexuality are found are families that are the most evolved and most progressive. Within those families are humans with higher ideals and higher aspirations. They are families in which the higher self is expressed.I wish that could be said a bit differently, however; I can just see the sneer, imagine the eyes rolling ... it's a bit pedantic, no?
Nevertheless: it's right.
The lie is that sex is all there is, that we're just biology, any feelings of affection we might have are accidental and could evaporate tomorrow. If you look at it that way, your life will indeed be lonely and longing, and there will be nothing progressive about it.
The truth is, humans have a distinctly spiritual aspect to their personalities, which is perceptible through being embraced, vehemently denied, via life wreckage if it's ignored, or joy-full life if it's honored and encouraged.
If one starts with love, learns love, commits to love, and finds one's vocation in family love, sex will happen, but it will be secondary, believe it or not. Furthermore, affection, without which sex is reduced to mere physicality, permeates life, and nourishes the soul and emotions even when sex is impossible.
That is what kids need to know: the goal is not sex. The goal is love and affection, a sense of knowing what one is about, and a right outlet for responsibility and protective impulses.
The college student who wrote this essay needs to use the critical thinking and reasoning skills one hopes to learn at the college level to figure out what might work better for her. She is clearly missing out on beauty and joy in love, if she only knew how to make herself available to it. Clue No. 1: it will not be found by watching Sex and the City...